Top 10 Reasons I love my job

I am obsessed with my job. I think it is the greatest and all you people live a sad existence because you don't get to be a teacher. He are the reasons why:

1. I start every day by standing up and reciting out loud that "It is a great day. I am responsible for my own behavior. And Success begins with me!" A good reminder each morning..if I say so myself.

2. Snack time

3. Recess (Sometimes I swing on the swings with them..shh don't tell)

4. I get to crack myself up with jokes that go way over my kids heads, and enjoy the fact that I get it and they don't.

5. I get to sing, dance, and do utterly crazy things in front of 24 people and justify it by being a "memorable" teacher.

6. Again, I get to sing and make up silly motions to learn all kind of crazy things from continents to contractions.

7. People that give me a hard time at work have to change their light and I send a note home about them!

8. Sometimes really smart people from the school give me money to spend on books and other cool things for my kids. It is like Christmas!

9. It is extremely gratifying to see intellectual, social, and emotional growth in a human being and know that you played a small part in that.

10. I am doing what God called me to do. It just doesn't get any better than that.

Do you trust me yet?

Recently, I have begun to struggle pretty intensely with controlling my thought life. I think ALL the time. As part of the blessing of being a child of an OCD mom (love you!) and an analytical engineering father (he makes pro/con charts for like every major decision) I never stop thinking. It is a good thing in lots of ways, but it makes mind control very very difficult. My filter has trouble keeping up! Now, I know in the past I have limited this controlling your mind to "evil" thoughts- such as "I want to kill him", or "Man, his sure does have a hot body."-not that I have ever thought those exact ones ;-) But these are not the primary ones I struggle with at all. I struggle WAY more with those little foxes like daydreaming, playing out a conversation or fantasy of what it will be like "some day", negative body image or self image thoughts, etc. I know that these are not at all healthy for me. In the bigger picture, if I am so self absorbed in my own fantasies and thoughts, how in the world can I be actively a part of the battle for the kingdom of our God? This is what I have been pondering the past few months. So, I was pretty convicted it had to change. I have now realized- WAY easier said than done. I really do want freedom from this. I want to be active, engaged and alive every second. I hate that I waste moments wrapped up in myself....and then BOOM this thought comes and minutes pass when I am wrapped up in analyzing the situation, relationships, or whatever. So, this has been driving me crazy. And as an analyzer I analyze the problem to death too. Well yesterday I was discussing this with a close friend and they said, "Maybe it is a trust issue." My mental response was "You have GOT to be kidding me!" I have just come off a year of hammering out lack of trust...isn't that enough? Well, I passed this advice off because to me, it is a self discipline issue, which the Holy Spirit has also confirmed but this blog is about trust so I am going to stay on track. Anyway, today I was reading Streams in the Desert and it said the most amazing thing:

"If Peter was ever going to walk on the water he had to walk, but if he was going to swim to Jesus, he had to swim. He could not do both. If a bird is going to fly, it must stay away from fences and trees, trusting the buoyancy of its wings. And if it tries to stay within easy reach of the ground, it will never fly very well. -A.B. Simpson

Whoa! I was floored. Bringing back to my present situation. I am as ridiculous as a bird desiring to fly but staying really close to the ground, just in case the wings fail. What would be cooler, to walk on water or to swim? Walk on water of course! Instead, I choose to swim to Jesus, battling waves of destructive thoughts and almost drowning in them before he reaches out to save me. I realized, He doesn't want me to swim and fight THROUGH the thoughts he wants me to rise above them completely. For when I am "fully persuaded that God has the power to do what he has promised" (Rom. 4:21) I can rise above those thoughts with complete trust they are being taken care of. Let go...

Well, it is a journey, and I have a suspicion that I won't have some kind of super Eureka moment and then poof the problem is gone. I have learned Jesus isn't really into magic..although he is into miracles. But I do know that he has called me to a greater freedom. I do know that he won't leave me the same. I do rejoice that the best is still yet to come.

Lose control....
I'm losing control of this.
I've been balancing on suspended pianos
And trying to appear composed.
It makes the loudest noise when they begin to crash.
With eyes on me I force a laugh

You come to me..
And set me free.

The Next Steps

So maybe some of you will continue reading. Honestly I have struggled with whether or not to keep it going, but I am tired of over-analyzing (a terrible habit I have not quite kicked) so here it goes. I have been back for a while now. It has been difficult at times to embrace my new set of adventures here, but it truly is only a beginning. I have had a couple of weeks of rest in which it has felt wierd not to be "involved" in 52 ministry related things (okay that is a huge exaggeration). However, I know that was a needed time as I decompressed, thought, and solidified what I had been through (and also just slept!). Now, it seems like He is letting me get back in the swing of things and presenting new opportunities on a daily basis. It is cool to see how he is using some of the EV models I used there and helping me apply them to here. Ask that I will be faithful and he will give me his heart and compassion for the people here in Jackson. I confess that I do not have it very often.

Also, I am extremely excited to begin serving very soon as a large group leader for children at CHBC. I love this ministry and believe so deeply that a firm foundation and knowledge of His Word is the most important thing we can give our kids. I can't wait! You can lift me up as I do this, that my face will reflect his glory and my body will be a pure vessel for his truth-a calling that I am quite frankly not up to without some serious divine intervention. Oh, but he is so faithful. A little soap box of mine. If you are not serving somewhere in your local body-START! The church is DESPERATE for people to just say yes. Guess what? You are gifted at something, and that is for a reason! To serve! And the benefits are stinking awesome. I promise you will receive a huge blessing. And don't think that because of a specific situation you are disqualified. Ask Him to show you how you are called to be used during your specific season. He knows where you are and has a great ministry designed just for you RIGHT NOW (no not when your kids grow up, or you quit taking care of your sick parents, or when your finances or better). Right now. End of story. (And don't mentally disqualify the "small" stuff- Do you know how many times He multiplied the "small, insignificant" stuff. Just do it!) Okay, I'm done. Promise.

Know that I love you. I really do, and I am so grateful to have you in my life. So many of you are from CHBC and I am ridiculously proud of you guys. I bragged about you ALL the time in my other country. They know all about how awesome you are! I am extremely proud to be part of a family that really does desire to accomplish His desires and give him glory. No, we're not perfect but we pursue- and that makes me smile!

Back in the States Again

Hey guys! For those of you that don't know yet, I am safely back in the states. I just want to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for lifting me up while I was gone. You not only made a huge difference in my life, but you have made an eternal difference in the kingdom. Although I am back home again, I ask that you not forget my friends in the country. They NEED you to be praying for them. Please, please continue to pray that people will come to know him and there will be a great harvest in the country and specifically in the Crossroads. I am no longer able to be with them, but I know that there are no limits to the power of lifting their names up to the father. I hope you will join with me.

A few more pictures

Cars and trucks are pretty prevalant in this city, but you also see plenty of these!

The Chinese answer to diapers-split trousers.

To get to the waterfall yesterday at Nan-Shan we rode one of these. It was great fun!

The famous Peking Duck. I haven't eaten it yet, but it is on the least of things to do.

Some Fun Before I Go...

Here it is..The Sunday before I leave. Only a week left! It is so hard to believe that my time here is already almost over. I have big plans for this week, however. We began the week today by taking the group to Nan Shan..a mountain away from the city with a beautiful waterfall. It was great to spend time together and just breathe fresh air. Also, I was forced into wading in the FREEZING stream from the waterfall with my m pal (who happens to be about 70). She does not slow down! It was funny and we have some great pictures of the two of us out in the middle of the freezing cold water! After we got back two of the group offered to go with me to the Olympic stores and chopstick store to buy some souveneirs. I feel pretty good about what I got! For the rest of the week I plan to, of course, meet with people and share about myself but also visit the cemetary, eat hot pot, go to Da Ba Zar, go to the night market, and eat peking duck. Ask that I will continue to remain focused on the main thing amid all the fun.

I named my blog what I did for a specific reason. I feel that in my life so far I have been given so much-so many opportunities. I have been privaledged to walk through some great adventures. But I believe that each day is truly just the beginning. Backwards focused life has little value. I want to live a life that is not caught up in what has been but is focused on what is today. As I "end" this adventure, I ask that I remain faithful to remembering that ALL THIS is just a beginning of a new part of the journey. I cannot thank you enough for thinking of me. It is making a difference!

Some more pictures from around town.

Guess where I am! Pretty cool, right? This is one of the 2 pictures I have of myself to prove that I did actually come here. This was during my first two days in country.

These are the Olympic "Friendlies" They have names and my little friend (the 3 year old) tries to help me remember, but I fail terribly. I know for sure that one is Bei Bei, and one is Jing Jing. Get it?? Beijing! Clever huh? Anyway, saying that we are pumped about the Olympics over here is the understatement of the year.

My daily mode of transportation. I have a bus card which is really convenient.

The view from my hotel window.

My Home Away from Home

So here it is- my home for the past two weeks. The most exciting features of this place are the western toilet and the air conditioner (a huge luxury here). I am living in style! Sorry that the bathroom picture is the one on top. I tried to move it but I couldn't get it to move and I really did want to show you that I don't have a squattie pottie. That toilet is a gift from Dad! Just for fun see if you can find my favorite soft drink in the kitchen pictures.

Happy Father's Day!

Here it is Monday..but I want to wish you a happy belated father's day. This post has been brewing for a while but I have not had the right opportunity to write it and there is no better day than today. I owe this post to two sources- first and foremost the great counselor but secondly to Richard Foster's excellent book Celebration of Discipline that I have been reading while I have been over here.

Have you ever noticed that children ask their parents for what they want? And even more amazing, they do it with no sense of guilt, shame, or fear. They do it expecting to get an answer. All this is based on the child's sure knowledge that their parent loves them. How do we lose our sense of that as we get older? I have realized that my ultimate father wishes for the same thing from me. He delights in me asking him with a full expectation of him answering.

Those of you who have been overseas understand that it takes reliance of your father to a new level. If you did not know, I traveled to the country by myself and I also live by myself in my city. This makes each day an adventure and definitely makes me rest squarely in his protection. I cannot rely on another or their "knowledge"-only him. It is super! I begin to ask him for things I take for granted in the states. Daddy, I am not sure the taxi driver knows where he is going-please get me home. Daddy, I am very hungry- please provide something to eat. Daddy, I am not sure where to go-please help me find my way. Daddy, I do not know the words- please help me communicate. And the list goes on and on. I have realized how much he loves me to ask him for help. He delights in my dependence and showing himself to me by meeting all my needs. How incredible to be his child!

The challenge is this. I rely on him the same amount at home in the States. I just refuse to acknowledge him and ask for his help. I get so wrapped up in "what I know" and "what I do" that I forget that it is all dependent on him. May I come away with a profound sense of dependence that revolutionizes my life wherever I am. I asking that you too will contemplate your life today. Know that you can come to him and ask with the authority of a child of his for him to meet all your needs. He loves it when we come to him! Thinking of you and so grateful for you lifting me up daily. It is making a huge difference. I can't wait to tell you the stories.

Life Here is Hilarious

Okay....I know I have generated false hope over this picture thing. Sorry. I AM trying just various things getting in the way. Instead I thought I would share some of the random funny things that happen on a daily basis over this way. First of all, one of the things my new friends always ask me to do is to sing "American" songs. There favorite is John Denver. Picture me on a college campus with a bunch of people around me singing "Country Roads Take Me Home" Yeah...hilarious.

Apparently the big show over here is "Prison Break" Now, I remember this show being advertised in the states but I have never seen it. I am not even sure if it is still on tv is the US. Does anyone know? Apparently the boys on there are "very handsome American boys." I have missed out! ;-)

The other night my friend and I went to an Egyptian folk dance festival. It was very good. It was even taped for television. Yes..I know what country I am in. Just goes to show...you never know what will happen in a day over here.

I have always thought that Asian women were little because they do not eat alot. WRONG. They out eat me every time. They polish off their rice or noodles (we eat noodles much more than rice in the north) and I am struggling to finish. The other day they told me I was "not healthy" and should eat more. They said I must be very afraid of getting fat. I said no..my stomach just must be smaller than yours or something. So unfair...I eat less than the Asian women and still have very American curves. Speaking of the women..this is my land for sure. All the women wear these really cute dresses and high heels that look so "me." I really want them to take me shopping. However, I am a bit afraid that the clothes are made for little Asian bodies and I won't be able to fit my American one in them. We will see!

Lastly, I have a little friend (about Thad's age, Jamie) who I play with some during the week. She is extremely dramatic and hilarious. Today I asked what I could be in the circus (she was going to be a seal) and she told me I had to be the blind beggar. Is that a hint or something? I love you all. My father is doing so much here. It is exciting to see eyes opened and to be a voice of truth for people.

A Picture is Worth 100 Kuai

So upon realizing that my picture download cord was sitting on my desk at my house in Brandon, MS I was a little bummed out. BUT I told my father that I thought it would be really cool to share some pictures with you guys, and guess what! Another friend just HAPPENED to need to go to the computer market that sells all kinds of technological things and I tagged along. Since everything is made over here anyway, I figured there was a big chance they would have one. Sure enough, they had the right one and it was pretty cheap (100 kuai-14 us dollars). So I now had planned to give you guys some pictures but for some reason now that they are on the computer they won't upload to the site. GRRR... Okay soon, though I promise I will try to make it happen. I love you guys very much.

Bus Expert

Today one of my friends very graciously took some time to orient me to the bus system in the city to help me get to all the places I will need to go. This took the majority of our day but I was so grateful that she would help me learn to get around. We did some Pwalking as we went which was really a great start. At lunch we stopped and had 2 great dishes of scrambled eggs and tomatoes and pork and peanuts. Yummy! I really like the food here- so much for losing weight! I feel that I have officially graduated from my orientation to the city as I took my very first alone bus ride from my place to my friend's place for a pizza dinner tonight. Yay! I will begin my time alone seeing the city and meeting new friends tomorrow, so be thinking of me as I really begin to do things within the city.
Sorry that I have still not posted pics. I can't seem to find my download cord.. Mom, where is it? Post on here and let me know! Thanks a bunch! (See your mother can still be helpful from halfway around the world! :-)) I love you all. And Bro. Bob, they have been out of T-shirts but we will stop by and see if we can get one because they are ordering a new shipment! I told everyone else so they will not let me forget!

Allison Krauss and Fajitas

So I am here! After two fun filled days in which I am happy to say I think I hit almost every tourist attraction there and got pretty good communicating with the taxi drivers after learning a little "survival" language and some nifty tricks to communicate., I made it to my city! My friends have made me feel so at home, even taking me to a restaurant with "Texas" style food that is actually very good. I ate fajitas! And on top of that they had country music playing- I heard 2 songs by Allison Krauss while we were there. It was nice to eat...I was not quite good enough with my language skills to figure out how to order in the other city.

I have gotten settled in my home away from home pretty much. I hope I can post pictures soon. And my friend went over some things I would need to know as I spend time here today. I am greatly encouraged but also challanged as I see the things that I can do for my father! He is so good and I know he has prepared me and will continue to equip me. Continue to think of me and my friends, asking our father for safety and security to speak from the book. Also, thank you for thinking of me as I traveled, my father guarded me and my things in a way only he can do. I love you all!

All My Bags are Packed.....

I am extremely proud to announce that all my belongings are in one small suitcase weighing less than fifty pounds and a backpack! This is a HUGE accomplishment for me because I am a chronic overpacker! All the things are checked off my list..amazing what can happen in a week!
This is the best place to keep updated with me. I will try to update as often as possible.
A brief side note: I am very proud to say that I have multiple friends going throughout the world this summer: A couple of those are Anna (Uganda), Drew (Bahamas), MK (Bahamas), Wes (here there and everywhere with a whole bunch of teenagers), Chris (Texas), and Lindsay (Greece). Each of these trips have their own stories but it is important to me that I mention them here because as I go, I am thinking of them and I hope you will be too! I love you! Next time I talk to you it will be from the other side of the world! :-)

The end of the first year.

Wednesday I finished my very first year as a teacher. I am so grateful for all the things I learned and have been blessed by the affirmation and gratefulness of some of the parents. Can't wait to do it all again next year. As a way to "practice" posting pictures so ya'll can get so photos of the beautiful country I will be visiting, I am posting some of the past year.

Rollercoasters

Rollercoasters are among my favorite things. I have hopped on any and every rollercoaster I have encountered since I was tall enough to ride (I just barely make the height limit now!) In fact, this past summer in California my mom, brother, and I set a new family record of riding 13 rollercoasters in one day! Rollercoasters from 10 in the morning till about 5 at night...It was a great time.

There is one part of some rollercoasters that is most definitely my least favorite. It is the slow creeping. You know on some rollercoasters how there is a steeeep incline where your car goes 0.2 miles per hour and you have what seems like at least 5 whole minutes to contemplate the fact that at the very top there is some unknown plummet. Now, I LOVE rollercoasters, however, my tummy always gets a really funny feeling on these inclines. I have this nervous excitement as I await the unknown- and it is always in the back of my head that I might die. But that's what makes it fun, right?

That is how I feel right now- "the rollercoaster feeling." I am very excited, but also I have that awaiting feeling as I know in less than a week, I will be gone! So anyway..some pre-trip jitters. One of the most important things that I have learned in recent years is that emotions are rarely a reliable gauge of reality. This is a good thing to know since I am a very emotional girl. So anyway, the feeling is a feeling and the truth is the truth. Good stuff!

So long status quo, I think I just let go.
You make me wanna be brave.
The way it always was is no longer good enough.
You make me wanna be brave.

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me that changes everything
So long, I'm gone

- Nicole Nordeman

The Beginning of A Journey

Well, It has been quite a while since I have "blogged" much to the disdain of my friends who are into the blogging world(you know who you are). This site is hopefully to be used for the specific purpose of keeping all of you updated on my life and future plans throughout this year or so. I am still working out what I can share on here as far as the biggest news in my life goes, so be patient with me as I figure it all out. For now, I am glad to be back in the blogging world and be watching for new updates! :-)